'To the parents who don't see their children'

"Relationships break down, marriages break down and this puts walls up. But the child isn't the person who built those walls."

Setbacks are an inevitable part of growing up, but there are ways to ensure your child will have the strength to bounce back. Here are some top resilience building techniques for your kids.

To the parents who don't see their children : Please. Do more.

It's never too late and no amount of time that has passed will ever be too long.

It gets complicated, I know that. But there is nothing more complicated than a child growing up wondering why... Why did they never make the effort? Why did they never try to find me? Why didn't they choose me over other stuff?

Relationships break down, marriages break down, and this puts walls up. But the child isn't the person who built those walls. And they shouldn't be the one who has to climb over them.

Want to join the family? Sign up to our Kidspot newsletter for more stories like this. Image: instagramJessica and her family. Image: Instagram/thenofiltermum

"I haven't seen my dad since I was five"

He walked out on my mum and me and my brothers, and we've grown up with a 'why?' for a number of years. But the 'why' fades eventually. It heals. It just becomes, 'it is what it is'.

I am moving house soon so today I spent the day going through toy boxes under beds and sorting drawers out that aren't normally opened. And this ragdoll, Polly, appeared.

Create tech-free zones. Keep family mealtimes, other family and social gatherings, and children's bedrooms screen free. Turn off televisions that you aren't watching, because background TV can get in the way of face-to-face time with kids. Recharge devices overnight—outside your child's bedroom to help him or her avoid the temptation to use them when they should be sleeping. These changes encourage more family time, healthier eating habits, and better sleep.

My dad bought this for me when I was born, he brought it to the hospital when I was just days old. And the thing is despite all the question marks and hurt and confusion for the last thirty years, seeing it today in a tucked-away box made me smile.

Because it means something. Because all parents will always mean something to their children no matter what happened in-between.

Want more stories like this? Here's a story about single parents splitting the cost of raising kids , and here is another about how divorce and separation really affects your children . If you are going through a divorce, here's how to cut through the b*llshit and just make it all about the kids .

Image: iStock

Polly, the ragdoll. Image: iStock

"You owe it to them to try"

Keep posting the birthday cards, keep trying to call, keep trying to see them, keep trying to find them. You're their parent and they're your child, you owe it to them to try. And you owe it to yourself.

And finally (and probably most nervewreckingly), my dad's name was Ron Hankin.

Maybe, just maybe, someone will know someone who knows him, or maybe this post will be seen by a parent who then picks up the phone to arrange to see their baby or their three-year-old or their six-year-old, before they ever get to a time where 30 years has passed them by.

"If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders." - Abigail Van Buren

Love meaningfully. Don't let something go so easily, even if it feels hard to get it back.

This post originally appeared on Jessica's Instagram page, The No Filter Mum, and is republished here with permission.

Image: Instagram

"No amount of time that has passed will ever be too long." Image: Instagram/thenofiltermum