"She has the nerve to say that if I want it, I pay for it and that she doesn't see why I can't invite my son's friends to a small gathering instead," wrote the woman about her ex's new fiancée.
Here are a few tips to make things smoother when navigating the world of co-parenting.
If you're planning a birthday party for your child and are co-parenting after separation , does your child have two separate birthday parties, or do you split the costs and welcome both sets of parents?
Perhaps it's wise to sort the finances out before booking a party.
One mum has learnt this lesson the hard way, and has posted about her dilemma on parenting forum, Mumsnet.
Parties can be tricky when co-parenting. Image: iStock.
The woman said her son is turning five in a few weeks and she has organised a party at a soft play centre. She has invited the entire class and the total cost comes to £400 (AUD$740)
"I have asked ex DH to pay half of this for DS (darling son)," she wrote in her post.
"He has now contacted me to say that his new fiancée (yes, fiancée now) has swanned in and said that she is not happy with it. He is moving next month and she is saying that he needs to keep his money for his deposit and bills otherwise he will come running to her and she is not prepared to foot the bill."
Treat media as you would any other environment in your child's life. The same parenting guidelines apply in both real and virtual environments. Set limits; kids need and expect them. Know your children's friends, both online and off. Know what platforms, software, and apps your children are using, what sites they are visiting on the web, and what they are doing online.
The new fiancée has said that if the mum wants to have a party, she should be the one paying for it, or she should have a small gathering instead.
"She does not have children which is very obvious in her ignorance," commented the mother, whose ex is now agreeing with his new partner.
He has said that he will pay child support and buy his son a gift, but will not be contributing to the party.
"She had the nerve to ask why I booked it if I was going to rely on other people to help pay it without asking them first which I found insulting!" the mum wrote, adding her son is now "devastated he’s not getting the big birthday party he wanted."
In an update, the mum clarified that the dad had originally committed to contributing to the cost of the party and had asked her to let him know how much. The new partner only spoke up after hearing how much it will cost.
Some suggested the mum save herself. Image: iStock.
"I think she has a point"
The cost was the main issue with most commenters, who suggested the party was too extravagant for a young child.
"£400 is a massive amount for a 5th birthday," commented one person.
Another replied, "We've never spent that much on a birthday party. I think she has a point."
Set limits and encourage playtime. Media use, like all other activities, should have reasonable limits. Unstructured and offline play stimulates creativity. Make unplugged playtime a daily priority, especially for very young children.
Many agreed with this sentiment: "It is an extortionate amount for a 4yo's birthday and I wouldn't be happy about having a £200 bill sprung on me."
Another was more to the point: "You're off your rocker! If you want a £400 party for a FIVE YEAR OLD then you need to pony up. Don't spend other people's money."
"Maybe suggest cash?"
Some suggested the mum should have confirmed the specific amount with her ex before booking the party. Some commenters suggested that it's poor form to back out of financial obligations to your child in favour of your new partner.
"Any man who backtracks on decisions already made for his kids based on what his new partner thinks, is a dickhead. Your DS (darling son) is looking forward to this now; can you go to other family for the money? Maybe suggest cash in lieu of a gift?" wrote one person.
And let's not forget the dad agreed to contribute something, and surely if it's too much, he could still put in a smaller amount? Do you agree, or is this woman asking way too much?